Poem: Lonesome

POEM: Lonesome

Is lonesome only alone in my head?

I lie by myself alone in bed .

Wondering about my family

Concerned about my life

Uncertain about my inabilities, my abilities too.

A bucket of thoughts splash around in my mind.

It’s this puddle I slipped on while trying to find.

My me in a bucket lost in my brain

A storm brewing thoughts … try make me insane.

I feel so alone, here lying in bed.

My phone stares back with a “like” instead.

Not one warm hug

Not a single kiss

No real touch

Yet it’s this I miss

I’m lonesome alone in my head.

FBook says something different instead.

The truth of the matter is me in my mind.

Searching the ocean of life to be found.

By a beacon of friendship,

Warm loving and true.

By my friends I’ve met loved known and a few.

New ones.

Met on my way though these years.

That held me a moment while I shed those tears.

In your thoughts, in your feelings.

You carried me well.

Lifting my bucket of lonely & ill.

Alone now i’ll carry one more day in my life.

Knowing

Sharing

Giving

To my memories of joy, happy and fun.

I’m here with myself which can also be ….truely

Wonderful

Liam July 2018

Poem: Dancing with Words

Poem: Dancing with Words

I love to dance with words and sing,

Amongst the daffodils and exotic frangipani.

Words drift in on a shifting breeze,

Shaking the shadows of tall green trees.

Vibrating they hum with the buzz of a bee 🐝.

At times pirouette before my gaze,

On a spiderweb in the dew covered haze.

Or the six black dots on a ladybird red,

Dance and spin on a leaf in my head.

So with the music of this once born life.

We chose the joy to the strife.

We chose to dance not to fight.

We chose the true and do the right.

We share a smile and dry a tear.

The music

The dance

The words we hear.

Liam 2018 July

I

Poem: The Desperate Day

If only there could be a day.

A day where I would wipe away,

The trouble & the strife.

The worry with the knife.

Held tight to slice the life,

Which pulses hard & strong .

Wrong, still ringing in my ear.

Fear grabs my soul a tear.

Rolls wet & dry.

My cry of pain,

I’ve lost the cause,

I’ve lost the fight.

I fall & fall & fall in fright.

The day is here where all the might,

Of insecurity profound has found,

My jugulars pulsing beat.

The dull moment of defeat.

Cold steel the blade will meet.

Kill my source & life.

It Bursts a stream of gushing red.

The blood spreads sticky out across the floor.

The blood spreads quickly till life no more.

Oozes out , the pain the doubt …..

In release what will I find?

My frantic call, manic spins the mind of no recall.

Will I return to the all?

A space where being one could supersede my dreaded need?

Poem: The Candle

Poem: The candle

At times I’m deep and dreary, I’ve also known despair.

A shadow lives around the corner underneath the stairs.

Those fingers curling, surge and grab,

Taking laughter from all things.

That’s how my freedom lost its wings.

But one things true, I found in me.

We’re not alone, not even in the dark.

For beating deep inside, a candle is my heart .

It’s towards this candle sometimes,

With shuffling heavy tread.

I search the dark in this lost night before I go to bed.

It’s all I have to search for

A tiny flame of hope.

Imbued with light and grown within that place to which I grope.

Sneaking around the corner,

The morning wakes and I.

Rub my eyes, stretch my arms today I’ll learn to fly.

With it, find I meaning,

Lonely though I may be.

It’s from that candle in the dark but I will set me free.

Liam July 2018

Poem: YOU

Poem: You

On that evening, late.

As you walked through into my room.

Fascination grabbed me, your smile too.

A joy rang resonating in the key hole,

Where I lived.

My heart hiding in the cupboard.

A closet reserved for tears,

The draws, filled with crumpled memories.

Musty that place!

Rusty my movements.

It came again

The vibration, unmistakable & strong….

Boy!

I breathed deeply.

Glowing your radiation fixed me to the picture.

The wall swayed with my breathing.

Permeated, I reached out

and grasped your hand.

The movement as you slipped into my arms.

I breathed you in, awash in perfume.

I beat you off with a hammering chest .

I brushed the fluff on your cheek.

I whispered in case,

Reality was but my phantasy.

“Hi”

Drawing back her eyes,

Murky crystals recognized

My gaze

A moment which…

Touched the me,

I’d yet grow to become.

“You’re beautiful”

She loosened her hand, tugging gently kissed me.

Invisible blood dripped from my love wounded lips.

Dissolving we both left those lovers.

Only a moment,

In eternity we soared.

Only a second

In infinity we sighed.

Smiled laughed and died.

Were resurrected to a new born day.

It’s you, really is you!

A cry was heard, as only souls reuniting sing.

This is my meaning

This is your feeling

This is why we ring.

Liam 2018

Ken Wilber: Quote

Ken Wilber

“To bring online, illuminate, and begin to activate the full spectrum of your potentials can only be called superhuman. We do this by upgrading our operating system with mental models that allow you to see in clear detail the vast array of what is possible for yourself, for others, and for the world.”

2017

Poem: I Am the I Am

Poem: I Am the I Am

I’m not this hair

I’m not this skin

I am the Soul that lives within.

I’m not these lips

I’m not these eyes

I am the Spirit therein resides.

I’m not these hands

I’m not these feet

I am the Body incomplete .

I’m not these looks

I’m not this style

I am a Universal child

I’m not the you

I’m not the they

I am the I am,

In Every way.

Liam

Poem: Is this Love? ❤️

Poem: Is this Love? ❤️

Let my love grow like this seed,

unfolding slowly deep in me.

The gentle sprout the subtle root,

My beating heart to find the route,

Through the thicket, thorns,

brambles and decay.

A light shines forward it shares the way.

Towards the lips

Towards the this

Towards those feelings,

so dearly missed.

Of something new so deep and strong,

Feeling found cannot be wrong.

Such is the magnet of this kiss,

Attracts me forwards towards the bliss,

towards the now

Towards the synchronicity

Towards the how.

It just happened.

Liam July 2018

Blog 7: Bombay

Blog 7: Bombay

We sailed the Arabian sea that night, to the right the great mysterious continent of India, below the dark oily sea, above the high sparkling spread of Cassiopeia amongst the Milky Way.

Each inch of space was packed, passengers and baggage, in-dispersed with the occasional squawk of a chicken, bleat of a goat or the demanding scream of a hungry baby.

My heart beat joined the heavy regular thump of the ship engine, merging with machine and the wind of passage, like a cooling caress they carring me gently off to sleep.

Three humungous grunts of the ships horn were thrown as greetings, each peeling away into the misty morning haze as we entered the harbor of Bombay. Around us were ships of every shape size and color, before us the red granite of the old harbor wall.

For those of you did not know it Bombay originally was made up of seven islands, first used by the Portuguese in the sixteenth century for its fine deep harbor and only in 1894 with the help of some magnificent British engineering were the islands linked with land fill and a lasting harbor built.

The morning arrived and with it the tension and dynamic of a city that surpassed my wildest dreams and my most fundamental imaginations. To be quite honest, I was completely washed off my feet, bowled over and buried in humanity.

The multitudes, the hordes and infinity of people surging forwards and backwards, here and there, this way that.

It left me, to say the least very confused.

“Money… Money….money”

Screeched a young ragged man, shuffling down the aile of the crowded bus. His selling point was unique & horrible at the same time, the tibula and fibula of his right arm were missing . The hand , still intact, shriveled and waxy, swung wildly about as he approached. His Beady eye projected the screeching directly at me, now as I hurriedly dug out the last Rupees in my wallet.

My point of refuge was the Buddha Lounge Inn a simple traveler lodge in the city .Once those protective wooden doors closed affirmatively behind me, I was able to take a deep breath and realize that I was sinking in a sea of humanity.

India is a great continent of extra ordinarily diversified cultures, people, religions, believes and casts.

With my European origin, I simply added to this diversification. The trouble being that my European origins had a strong magnetic effect on the cripples, the diseased, the sick, the homeless (huge quantities of humanity slept on the streets) and the starving.

Begging is a Necessary and well excepted part of Indian culture. Offerings are made all the time at the shrines and temples both large and small scattered throughout the cities and countries side.

I became besieged with the needy and gave away everything that I had.

I felt drained and empty and helpless.

Liam